Order, Order…

Michael Martin, Glasgow North East MP and the Commons Speaker, has today announced his decision to step down from both these positions, forcing a by-election in his constituency.

Speaking in the House of Commons today, Martin failed to pander to the hungry audience any further then he needed, refusing to comment on the matter and simply stating his intention to stand down on 21 June.

Martin has served as speaker in the House of Commons since 2000, and recently has been dogged with the surfacing of the gross misappropriation of public money for MP’s expenses, one of the biggest public debacles in recent times.

Martin himself caught with his hands in the jar repeatedly in his 9 year tenure, be it challenged on the use of over £20,000 challenging negative press coverage, and only this month his own expenses claims for a chauffeur to take him to his beloved Celtic was brought to the fore by The Daily Telegraph.

His suppression of Minister’s spending this time around echoes his previous attempts to block queries under the Freedom of Information Act, pertaining to MP’s travel expenses worth over £5 Million.

Martin was accused of allowing the police to search the offices of Damian Green without a search warrant, which subsequently resulted in his arrest for leaking details of the employment of illegal immigrants in the House of Commons, and the granting of 5,000 licences for illegal workers.

Norwegian Good!

Well that dainty Norwegian fellow Alexander fared better then anybody in the history of the Eurovision Song Contest, being awarded the highest score since the contest began. He even beat ABBA for goodness sake, ABBA!

Whilst on my way to the realm of the Reading Room, itself a harrowing mess of loud obnoxious students who refrain from doing any work, I came upon a group of Norwegian nationals having a merry old time. They were wearing some awesome dungarees reminiscent of the Mario Bros., and from what I could gather from their drunken gargling, it was to do with their last day of schooling and a national day or something to that effect.

All I had when I left was an old, bog standard white shirt, covered in marker pen with scrawlings such as ‘your a big tit’, and ‘it was nice knowing you’ (kind of macabre when you think about), complete with holes for my nipples. Absolutely charming.

Just like Eurovision, the cool Norwegians had us beaten further with the accompanying hat of promiscuity, which had a piece of braided string attached with knots to signify various drunken accomplishments. I saw one of those ‘accomplishments’, and he was naked jumping into a bush by the lake with one of the fine ladies.

Lucky bastard.

Maybe next year I’ll plan ahead, and not be lugging around a massive rucksack with every book I own inside, making me look like a flabby Ninja Turtle whilst I attempted to use my awkward British charm to woo the citizens of such a fine, albeit weird country.

Saturday night, dressed to impress!

Bloody Games…

Well, first post for an ambitious attempt at a blog, woop woop!

I’m fed up with all the attention whores telling people how their day has been, so I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon and moan myself!

I am meant to say that revision has consumed my daily student life, what with impending exams, but I must confess, Chrono Trigger has got me hooked. I can’t seem to stop once I start a gaming session, worried about Frog and Robo and how their stories will develop!

The obsession is clearly referenced by the title of this blog, bloody game is creeping into aspects of my life, and it’s starting to come up in bursts during everyday conversation, with me spouting anecdotal tales that I experienced in a dungeon crawl!

I would regard some videogames as pieces of art, equal to some of the greatest works of literature and film, and Chrono Trigger clearly sits up there with the best. It’s made by a dream team of artists and sound designers whose heritage is like no other, including old-school gems such as Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy.

People get moved into thinking strange things due to art…right?